Wednesday, November 23, 2011

A month without... Anything.

So,Jeff has stepped out to start his own business. In a way it's going great. They have won quite a few bids and are keeping busy. In another it has once again streched our faith. They will get paid for their work with the city...eventually.
Everything we bring in MUST go to the business. That is just the way it is.But, since I'm not working we have had to make it on spit and mud. Thank goodness for spit and mud!
We will see what God has in store for the holidays. I would really like to skip the gifts and take the kids to Branson or someplace. I'm just really to the point that the junk is not worth it. But,the memories are.

Yea. Yea. We're Poor. So what?

If you start at the beginning you can see that we have had quite a transformation in our attitude about being poor. When I say I despised being poor that would be an understatement. But,when God says blessed are the poor,they shall see God. He wasn't kidding. I really do wish I would have written everything down.
When we were desperate:
Jeff found a gold coin and we got $1,500 so that he could pay a bill that was due the next day. "Or else." (been there?)
I was in a very minor accident that the lady admitted full fault. So the insurance company paid me "Pain and suffering" Just as Jeff was needing it.
We received an anonymous gift card.
People gave us food. (when I literally had half a days worth and was praying "O.k. Lord you provided manna to the Israelites. How 'bout a little help here?)
Found a clothing closet when two particularly rough kids needed jeans.
There have been some other things. But,I can't think of them off the top of my head.
Yea,we're still poor. Whatever. My God has it covered.
So,Happy Thanksgiving.

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Thank you Vision Forum!
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Monday, September 26, 2011


So we all know the Isrealites wandered around in the desert and the Lord provided for them.

Day after day after day.

So they started to grumbel and moan."Blech.Manna again?"

I can so relate.With Jeff being off work I was down to Oatmeal for breakfast and Chicken and potatoes for lunch and supper. I have no money to go shopping. So,what's a girl to do?

I do what I always do.


Unschooling the type A personality way.

With school being in full swing it has taken several transformations. At first I started out very rigid in our day. Everything scheduled and planned. But unfortunately that did not go so well. The kids were at each others throats and fought me every minute. It was too frustrating.

So,we have gone to a more non-traditional route.I'm letting the kids basically chose the subjects that they are interested in. Then we explore.I'm learning a lot.

I worry if we are covering everything. Which is why I did not want to do school this way. And my type A personality loves the planning and structre that comes with the more traditional route. But the kids are no longer saying homeschool is stupid or boring. For the most part they are getting along. And When I say "what are you working on?" they usually have some interesting thing they have discovered. I find that they are often sharing with each other their books and knowledge gained. We have many conversations about how one subject relates to another. Or how what they are learning applies to real life.

I'm wondering if this is how God intended for us to learn?

I'm still learning how to incoporate math and language arts into our program.Joe is using Evelyn and Caleb,I have yet to find a program that I like. We have been using But I am just not satisfied with it. I've been contmplating going back to IXL. I like that it runs along with state standards. And it sends me reports on what the kids are doing. Evelyn liked doing it last year becuase we were able to set goals within the program and she would get little rewards for accomplishing so many units.

Language Arts is just flying around on their blogs. I would like to incorperated a formal program. But I really believe that the more you write the better you get at being able to put your thoughts to paper.I'm really not sure that we have to identify past participles right now. I wonder what the early English lessons looked like?

Sunday, August 14, 2011


Main Entry: dis·si·pate
Pronunciation: \ˈdi-sə-ˌpāt\
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): dis·si·pat·ed; dis·si·pat·ing
Etymology: Latin dissipatus, past participle of dissipare, dissupare, from dis- + supare to throw
Date: 15th century

transitive verb 1 a : to break up and drive off (as a crowd) b : to cause to spread thin or scatter and gradually vanish dissipated — Andrew Feinberg> c : to lose (as heat or electricity) irrecoverably
2 : to spend or use up wastefully or foolishly <dissipated the family fortune in reckless business ventures>intransitive verb 1 : to break up and scatter or vanish dissipated> dissipated>
2 : to be extravagant or dissolute in the pursuit of pleasure; especially : to drink to excess

synonyms see scatter

I had to look up this word after reading Luke 21. Jesus talks about what we will be facing as we approach the end. I am amazed at how much I read, it seems ad if the whole Bible was written for just this time.

Dissipate: drive off, break up. I know so many people who have been through a church split. Now they no longer want to have anything to do with the Church. We as believers are becoming spread thin and many are turning from their faith.

To waste or spend foolishly: Self included I'm afraid. How much time have I wasted because I was fed up with our situation? How much garbage have I sat watching because I was captured by the storyline? Or trying to escape reality?

Pursuit of pleasure: Isn't this one of our constitutional rights? Of course I'm joking. But we have lost what happiness is. Our pursuit of happiness has been replaced with the pursuit of pleasure. I think some don't know the difference.


Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Proverbs 13:11-13

I was sick. Sick for worry. Sick of the tension that was in our home. Sick that things would get worse (if they could possibly) I was just plain sick and tired of our situation.

But I held on to hope that God would be faithful to us. That he would deliver us from this.

It was only a small tiny sliver of hope. But a sliver is better than none.

I know of people who are going through much worse than what we did. While we were in the mire I felt so guilty that I was feeling sorry for myself. Yet I just couldn't help it.

God not audibly talking was the worst part of this whole thing. He has given us promises,then why was He not upholding his end of the bargain?

He will supply all your needs.
He will provide a way of escape.
He will give us an abundant life.
Ask anything in His name. And it will be given to you.

Are they true? Do you know how many times I had people quote these verses to me? I had people tell me I needed to be praising God anyway. That I was wrong for not.

Well,maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was sinning for not accepting our situation.But,I couldn't help it. The silence was deafening. How do you be a godly example to those around you when you feel like you have been trampled on? When God is Silent and you are screaming out to Him from your inner most being?

I wasn't a good example.I wasn't one to be looked upon as having faith.I was broken and discouraged.I worried.I don't believe in "name it and claim it" It's a delusion. A lie.

God is God.

And if He want's to be silent,He can be silent.